Here’s a list of the subgroups that don’t, the ones who need to look in the mirror. (As long as they don’t bend over.) They comprise the small percentage of people wearing skinny jeans who look good. Granted, there are thousands of Pinterest images of slender, beautiful hipsters in Brooklyn and Paris who wear these things every day, espressos in hand, with fierce, fashionable pride. You can’t raise the waistline on these things because it throws off the proportion, and everyone ends up looking like Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee. They are so low waisted that your butt crack shows whenever you bend over to pet the cat, grab the remote, take out the garbage, reach something on the lower shelf at the grocery store, get a notebook out of a locker, get in and out of your car. I devised all kinds of strategies to counteract this problem – long shirts, wearing granny underwear to hide the gap of flesh that peeked out every time I sat down, cinching up my belt a few more notches.Įven when you’re tiny, skinny jeans are problematic. Back when I was a tiny size 1 and wearing skinny jeans, I got written up at work for inadvertently exposing my butt and midriff.
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